It Came From Nowhere
by xTricksterx
Summary: It was a nice day. Until IT came from out of no where... IT attacked. Silliness and much Sueparodying ahead and a leetle language.
1. The Horror Begins

_Fore Note: Hey, people, what's up? I felt I should begin my return to with a silly little Mary-sue parody. If you have any ideas on how to juice her up a little go ahead. Also, a disclaimer to make sure Daisuke Ishiwatari won't sue my ass- I don't own, or even CLAIM to own any of the Guilty Gear characters and I would rather hang myself than own Sakura… X3_

**It Came From Nowhere**

**Chapter One- The Horror Begins**

"Ky-kun? Whoops! I mean, Officer?"

Ky glanced to his left, head tilted to one side. "May I help you… miss?" Yes. Certainly a miss. The creature was definitely female, almost ridiculously so. It made the young knight wonder if she had problems tying her shoelaces (although she seemed to have sorted this out as she was wearing a pair of high heels) and going through doors… She was very beautiful though. Generically so however and he was starting to suspect foul-play.

She smiled and birds sang and heaven's light shone down on her. "Hi! I'm Sakura Yami-Tsuki Lightwing! I'm lost, can you help me?" Her voice was light and gentle, like a summer's breeze but her dazzling crimson eyes showed untold sorrows. Like a duck.

Starting to feel unnerved, he looked around, "… Where do you need to go?"

"Well I need to find Sol-sensei because-" she hesitated, lowering her forest of lashes humbly, "Oh no! You don't want to hear it!"

Ky nodded warily, "Yes, that's true, I'm a very busy-"

"You're so understanding, Ky-kun!" She trilled, "I'm _really _That Man's daughter but he doesn't understand me at all because I'm Japanese! He says I look like my mother." Again, she paused to dab at her gleaming eyes and try to choke back the crystal tears.

"Well if it's really so hard for you maybe you had better stop talking abo-"

"He say's I'm the most powerful Gear ever! Even more powerful than Seigi!"

Wondering where the extra punctuation had come from (Let alone how she managed to say it), he frowned, "You mean Justice?"

"Yeah! Seigi!"

"You're a Gear _and_ you're Japanese? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to arrest-"

"But I can't control my powers!" She gushed, "I could destroy the whole world just by sneezing!"

Ky backed off a little.

"And now everyone wants to kill me! Why can't humans just get along with Gears? We have feelings too! I wish I could find someone who understands me! It's so unfair!"

He began to feel a vague sense of déjà vu as she spoke, "… Dizzy said that."

"EXCUSE me?!"

"Dizzy. She said something very similar…"

An angry flush came over her ivory skin, "EXCUSE me?! Dizzy's such a bitch! She hates me just because she's jealous of how pretty I am! She copied me! Anyway, I'm looking for Sol-sensei because my father wants me to kill him even though he taught me everything I know! He gave me my weapon!" She held up a sword bigger than her entire body, "It's called the Chi-ken, which means Soulseal in case you didn't know! It can trap people's souls and turn into any weapon I want!"

He raised an eyebrow, looking at his watch, "Mmmhm. I'm sure you have somewhere to be getting to, miss…" He resisted the urge to laugh, "… Lightfeather."

"Light_wing_. Domo arigatou, Ky-kun!" She bowed in the traditional Japanese way and ran off, flashing her panties.

Ky winced and switched on his radio, "Uh… We have a Code 101 here, requesting permission to kill on sight?"

The radio crackled, "101?!" Someone screamed, "NOT ANOTHER MARY-SUE! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" followed by glass smashing and a thump. There was a silence and another voice spoke "Permission granted!"

--

May lowered the telescope, looking truly baffled, "Dizzy! Come here! Quick!"

"What is it?" the girl blinked and came over, taking the telescope and peering in the direction her friend was pointing. There was a girl standing on the beach the May Ship had landed on dressed in a Japanese school uniform but in black and red with and the skirt was ridiculously short. She frowned slightly, "… Um… Do you know her?"

"Never seen her before! I don't know why she's waving at me…" She crossed her arms, "… Hey! Look, she's coming over!"

The newcomer ran up, lavender (with silver streaks) hair shimmering in the sun, "Hiiii, May-chan!" She called, waving enthusiastically.

The two looked at each other. May, whose face was a picture of bewilderment, waved slowly back, "Um… hi?"

Totally ignoring Dizzy she took May's hands and squealed, "How're you and Johnny? Wink, wink?" She giggling.

May shot a 'Help me!' look at Dizzy and pulled away, "Um… Do I know you?"

"Of course, baka! I'm your best friend, Sakura!" Her perfect pink lips formed a pout, "Don't you remember me? I'm the half gear you met! You helped me control my powers a little! I promised I'd help you and Johnny get together! Remember?! REMEMBER?!"

She paused, then laughed uncertainly, "No, no… I'm pretty sure I don't know you!"

Dizzy stepped forward, "You… you're a half gear too?" She smiled, "I… I thought I was the only one! You must be going through everything that I am… Wow… I… Did you know there was another person? Are… are there more? Oh, what am I thinking?" The half gear held out a hand, "I'm Dizzy! It's nice to meet you!"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at her and put her hands on her hips, scowling, "What?! Are you taunting me? Why do you always make fun of me?" She gave May a pleading look, "She's not your _friend_, is she, May? She's always cruel to me because she's jealous!" She sniffed, glaring at Dizzy, "She HATES me!" Tears began to fall down her cheeks, staining her beautiful skin.

"I'm sorry?" She tilted her head, looking surprised, "I don't know if-"

May took her by the arm gently, "Let's go while she's crying, Dizzy! She's weirding me out!" She hissed, "She's obviously some kind of nut-job!"

"Should we really leave her like this?"

"Yes!" And with that she ran for it, dragging a bewildered Dizzy with her.

The girl looked up. There was no one there, "Why does everyone always abandon me?" She sobbed.


	2. The Hideousness Escalates

_Fore Note: Here is the mind-numbing, vomit-inducing, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE chapter two. Enjoy having your IQ decimated! D_

_Also, I'M SORRY CHOBITS!_

**It Came from Nowhere**

**Chapter Two- The Hideousness Escalates**

Letting out a yell, the ninja threw himself forward and slashed across the tree. A few seconds later the trunk split into several pieces. Chipp leant in and ran a finger over the smooth split, then swore as a splinter lodged itself in his skin, "Shit!" He muttered, stepping back and sucking his finger, "… I'm off." He sighed irritably and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

Chipp spun round, tensing. There was a girl standing in the trees looking concerned. "What do you want?"

She pouted, "I was just asking you were okay!" She cooed, coming over, "Let me have a look!"

"It's only a splinter, get lost."

"No, let me have a look!" She grabbed his hand.

"Get off of me!" He snatched it back, looking slightly more than aggravated now, "Get lost for God's sake!"

She giggled, rocking back on her heels, then squealing as a breeze caught her skirt and blew it up, "Whoopsy!"

Chipp rolled his eyes and turned away, "Get. Lost. How many times do I have to say it?" He snarled, making his way out of the clearing.

"You were trained by Tsuyoshi-sensei!"

"What?!" He froze, slowly turning round again, "What did you just say?!"

"Tsuyoshi-sensei trained me too!" She leant against a tree, folding her arms in a way that somehow managed to make her cleavage look bigger, "He said I was his BESTEST EVER student!"

Chipp snorted, "Whatever. He'd never train anyone as brainless as you!"

"I am not brainless!" Another gust of wind blew her skirt up and she giggled, trying to push it down.

"Please! You don't even dress properly! Stupid bint!"

She pouted again and stood up, "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't fight!" She yelled, "That's so mean! And sexist!" She clenched her fists and drew her sword, "Me and the Chi-ken can beat you!"

"Oh yeah?" He eyed the giant sword, wondering if she could even swing it, "Bring it on!"

Sakura stood up straight and raised both her arms (while Chipp staggered at the continuity error and wondered where her sword had gone) and spun round, shimmering hair flowing out. Suddenly the Chi-ken appeared, but covered in purple ribbons and she snatched it, "Prepare yourself!" She said, all giggling now gone and though she was being serious she managed to look pretty. "I'm not going to hold back!" She twirled the Chi-ken and it turned into a katana. "I like to use my native weapon! Because I'm a ninja _and_ Japanese!"

Chipp frowned, "Ninjas don't use katanas, stupid. They only do that in films and cartoons."

She glared back, "Yes they do! I saw it on The Last Samurai!"

"Those are _samurais_, genius, not ninjas!"

"Yeah well they do!" She huffed, "You just wait!" She ran at him with the katana, poised to strike. The ninja, however, didn't bother moving and his confidence was proved to be well-founded when she tripped up in her high heels. Struggling to her feet she flinched, "You're more powerful than I thought!"

He rolled his eyes in response, starting to walk away, "No shit, Sherlock." He answered, picking up the small bag he had hooked on a branch as he left.

"Hey! Where're you going?! I'll have to use my ultimate attack! HIKARI SEXY NO JUTSU RYUU POWWWWEEER!" Wings sprouted from her back, white and beautiful. They were so beautiful and elegant that they would have made any normal person's eyes bleed with joy.

"Hikari sexy no jutsu ryuu- what? What kind of shit is- oh."

The forest exploded.

Once the debris had settled, she looked up, eyes wide, "Omigosh I'm so sorry! I can't control my powers!" She cried out, falling to her knees, "Why am I cursed with such amazing beauty and power? Hey, where are you? Oh no I must have killed him!" She broke out into fresh sobs.

"You missed." Chipp materialized in front of her, expression a mixture of annoyed and disbelief and shook his head slowly, "Weirdo." He muttered, backing away, then teleported again.

Sakura sniffed again but seemed happier, staring at the space where Chipp had been standing a few moments earlier, "He's almost good enough at covering up his _true_ feelings to fool me! Almost! He's so in love with me! I wonder…" Her eyes widened, "Omigosh… He must be… the one I was told about! The one just for me!"


End file.
